Where Have You Gone Joe DiMaggio?

By Rob DeAngelis

Are you kidding me with the news coming out of Major League Baseball in the last few weeks? What an embarrassment for a sport that is starting to appear more like the Jerry Springer Show than America’s favorite pastime. The “A-Roid” (this could be my new favorite sports nickname supplanting recent favorite “Law Firm” referring to Patriots running back Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis) steroid abuse and pathetic admission of guilt while donning pink lipstick has received the majority of the attention and rightly so – he WAS the best player in baseball. That title shifted back to the clean and once very talented Ken Griffey Jr on Sunday.

Despite A-Roid, I was beginning to hope that we might turn our attention away from the controversial books (Torre, Canseco) and the cheating athletes (take your pick) to focus on pitchers and catchers reporting to camp. Then I picked up the NY papers yesterday and read the utterly disturbing Robbie Alomar and Darryl Strawberry stories – they make A-Roid look like Jeter.

Their level of fame is nowhere near Joe Torre, Barry Bonds or A-Roid, but their stories are even more shocking. I can only imagine what guys like Ted Williams and Joe DiMaggio would think if they picked up the New York Post yesterday and took in the details of Alomar’s rape, full-blown AIDS and subsequent deception over a cup of coffee (Joe D would be dunking his donut no doubt). If you haven’t read the Alomar story yet, it is pure “shock and awe.” The same guy, who pulled the classy move of spitting in an umpire’s face in 1994, is being sued for engaging in unprotected sex with an ex-girlfriend while knowingly carrying full blown AIDS. We also learn in the article that he suffers from erectile dysfunction from being raped by two Mexican men after a baseball game in New Mexico when he was 17 (not sure if the two stories are related). WHAAAAAAAT! Somebody call Springer right now! He is the only person equipped to deal with such irresponsible, disgusting behavior. He should also bring that bald bouncer along as Alomar has a father and an endless supply of brothers who have all played professional baseball.

Strawberry, not to be outdone by Canseco, Alomar or anyone else, thought that this would be the appropriate time to release a book about his sexcapades with the ’86 NY Mets. The exploits of this team have already been well documented, but Straw makes sure to take some of his teammates down with him. How do you think Straw’s co-workers at SNY, Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez, feel about the detailed accounts of their boozing, speed balling and sex romps on road trips. If the timing isn’t curious enough, how about giving your kids a break Straw? They have lived through your various addictions and multiple trips to rehab – do you think DJ was really pining for a detailed account of that journey? I think not.

All of a sudden, Pete Rose doesn’t look so bad (make sure to check out our daily sports picks in “Bro Bets”)….


We post our next radio show Wednesday, February 18th…stay tuned.